A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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