just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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