please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
