Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
