my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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