I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
