I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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