you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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