EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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