My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
