So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
