I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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