conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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