Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
