I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize