i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
