If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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