For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
