Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
