I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize