if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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