if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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