Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
