it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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