Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
