Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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