why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
