32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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