she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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