No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
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Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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