Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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