Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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