u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
