You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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