oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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