Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
