HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
