I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
