Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
