We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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