wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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