The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
