I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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