party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
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I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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