Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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