Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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