He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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