I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
