apparently the secret to your success is patron
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
