I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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