Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
