i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
