I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
