I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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