just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
handjob tips. give me some.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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