People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
