get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
